Ten Things I Hate About Messenger (For Humor Only)

  • I hate when people send a video without explaining the content. Is it a virus? Is it a bomb? What am I looking for? Some of the thoughts going around my head. It turns out that it is a lame video that they are excited about. Are they that busy that they could send a video but couldn’t find the time to explain its contents? Who are these people?
  • I hate that Messenger has no sense of time and comes with a loud ping whenever it announces a message. 4 in the morning, the time when sleep is at its finest hour, Messenger announces the arrival of a message with a loud PING. Is it a family emergency? Did someone get killed? Oh no, its an inspirational piece from a daring friend or relative telling you that God loves you and not only that, He is THINKING OF YOU.
  • I hate that Messenger puts you on someone’s instant post and everything thing that person does come up on your message. Now I’m forced to sit there and watch everything a person does for the rest of their lives. What a slow and painful way to die.

I hate when my friends send me a message to say look out for viruses and don’t open any messages from Messenger. Well, guess what, I JUST DID. What’s wrong with these people?

I hate messages that start with Hi. Some of the biggest schemers found out that its the best way to scheme someone and they use it all the time.

I hate people who somehow believe that in this complicated world of dating that they can find their true love on Messenger and no only that, they convinced themselves that I am their true love. Well, guess what, YOU ARE WACKO. You are the reason relationships fail.

I hate people who tell you sad stories on Messenger. What am I supposed to do with your sad story? Sit there and grieve while you ride off in the sunset without the deposited excrement that you dump on me?

I hate fundraisers that start on Messengers. It’s like I’m cornered. There is no way out of it other than to say “HELL NO,” only to find yourself alienated by people who cared about you.

I hate people who dump their Sunday Service on my Messenger. Let me put it this way nicely, it wasn’t by accident that I didn’t show up at your church. Trust me, if it was that important I would have been there. I don’t normally miss funerals. STOP IT.

And the 10th reason I hate Messenger is because of people who sends me a Messenger and tells me I should get out of Messenger because they are selling my information. Guess what, one year later, they are still on Messenger sending out other alarming messages. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

NB. If you are easily offended, you shouldn’t be reading this. Oops. It’s too late. My bad.

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